I named my anxiety Beverly.

I named my anxiety Beverly. Here’s why.

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I used to take medication for anxiety when I was a teenager, just starting college and again after my father passed away. I took it until I listened to my intuition telling me that it was enough. It was no longer benefitting me but had in fact become a disservice to me. So, I released it.

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In the years without medicating, I have discovered methods and strategies to work through my anxiety. They don’t always work and sometimes I find myself crying on the couch for days, but my medication wasn’t working either. And today I am OK with allowing these days to happen because I no longer allow them to take control of my life. I now allow myself to FEEL the anxiety and let her be there and I trust that I will come through just fine.

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Over the last 7 years I have been doing work on my mindset, my beliefs and my health. 7 years of doing this kind of work and still living in anxiety sometimes feels frustrating. Ya know that, “HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY STILL EXIST?!” thoughts and the frustration since anxiety fucking sucks and all. But these 7 years have brought me a new perspective to it. Here it is:

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Anxiety is NOT ME. I am NOT anxiety. And this is why (maybe you noticed it above) I referred to my anxiety as “her.” Her name is Beverly and she is NOT me. She’s simply a visitor that pops in like that annoying distant relative who randomly shows up on your doorstep and needs a place to stay. Sometimes she stays longer than I expect but she ALWAYS leaves. When she’s here, I acknowledge her, say what’s up, make small talk and try to tune her out. Sometimes she gets drunk and makes a ruckus, spewing total nonsense at me trying to make me feel small and unimportant and like a failure. I believe this is because she knows she isn’t welcome so she fights harder to stay.

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7 years ago her visits would be longer than her time away. Now, she pops in for a few hours to 1-3 days MAX. And I have learned that those longer stretches aren’t actually Beverly but more the emotional “hangover” she’s caused. Anxiety hangovers am I right?! UGH.

Do I have a point here?! I do. And it’s to tell you that the first step in thriving with anxiety is to recognize and BELIEVE that YOU are NOT the ANXIETY. Yes, you have it. Yes, it can be debilitating. But NO, it does not HAVE to control your life. Next time it shows up, I want you to name them. Identifying it as a 3rd person will help you begin to separate yourself from it and once you separate yourself you begin to open up more space (and time) within you. Space and time you never even dreamed you needed.

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 Breathe deep, start with a name.